**If you are easily offended in regards to religion... (namly Christianity) please move on**
2 years I have been preparing myself for a conversion into Judaism. I knew its what I wanted the more I dove into my relationship with Jon, and now we are engaged and the process is underway. I dont want to just convert for my fiancee and his family, I am converting for me. For my kids, and for any future children Jon and I have. I grew up as a Santa Clause and Easter Bunny Christian, with a family with deep Pagen beliefs. I always found myself to be more agnostic than Christian, meaning I didnt know what I believed. Some dude claiming to be the son of Christ? Raising from the dead? Really? I call bullsh*t. I struggle with the basis of most Christian religions. The more I learn about Judaism the more it rings true, the more I hold the culture (not just religion) dear to my heart.
Anyway. I want to make this change wholeheartedly. I am not converting to continue to celebrate Chirstmas in my home. As much as my two children are not converting, unless someday they want to, I intend to raise them in a Jewish home. They also have been growing up on Christmas and Easter. Their bio-dad also does not attend Church or teach about Christ in the home. I intend to teach them Judaism and allow them to choose their paths someday.
I have started my classes and this time next year my conversion will be complete. I will be fasting next week for Yom Kippur, I will be studing the history and will be attending Shabbath services. I want to do this right. My problem comes with the holiday season. The question truly is: To Chrismahanukah or not? We will always celebrate with my family Christmas, but what about in our home? I feel as though that could defeat the purpose of our home being a Jewish home. I know that my Christian friends and family dont quite get it. Its the holidays, you get a tree you decorate it, you bake cookies and sing Christmas Songs. The idea of removing that from my home with two esentially non Jewish children living is such a horrible thought! Right?! I dont think so.
I think by continuing to incorporate those traditions simply confuses them. We can decorate during the holidays, we can bake cookies, we can sing songs. It never was about Christ for me in the first place. You wont find religious artifacts in my home, during the holidays or otherwise. So why bring in a tree that will confuse them? (Regardless of the true meaning of a "Christmas" tree, they dont get its Pagen roots). Clearly I am leaning one way, but struggle a bit with the reality of change I think.
So yeah, a day before autumn, this is where my brain is traveling.
